152). This is because we can only attempt to understand the mind of others, to decode their words, even their body language, and try to put that into a perspective of meaning to us as individuals. Krauss and Morsella provide points on how to improve our skills as communicators. Listening is tangential to being a good communicator. Listening trains us to hear more than words, but concepts too, and the concepts that others are trying to convey to us are essential to our understanding of their position in a conflict. Before we can resolve conflict, we must understand the nature of the conflict, and the nature of conflict can seldom be expressed in a few words or sentences. They are expressed in concepts, and this often takes much discussion to fully recreate what is envisioned for us as individuals, or comprehended as individuals, and to convey it to one or more others in a group. Listening helps us understand not just the points others are making, but how they are processing what we as individuals are attempting to convey to them.
Only when we listen carefully, and respond not around, but directly towards what is being said to us by others can we fully achieve and appreciate the art of communicating. Of course, as Krauss and Morsella point out, there is noise that comes into play that tends to distract or distort what we are attempting to listen to. Krauss and Morsella say that the noise can be intended, or not intended. Take for example the well-known problems that Henry Kissinger had in bringing all sides together to resolve the Viet Nam conflict. For months discussion was had around the shape of the conference table, whether it would be round, oval, or rectangular. This type of discussion, Krauss and Morsella suggest, is noise, and that it could be intended to distract the people coming together to resolve conflict. Discussing the shape of the peace conference table could have well been effort to stall the negotiations while one or more of the parties carried out their own agendas prior to having to discuss them in the negotiations, or, perhaps more importantly, before negotiated restrictions could preclude the agendas. As Krauss and Morsella comment, "communication becomes a continuation of conflict by verbal means (p. 154)."
Krauss and Morsella's principles of communication serve as easy exercises in becoming a better communicator. Since we are a society in whom the concept of conflict resolution is achieved through communicating, then we must learn to be better and active communicators. Krauss and Morsella encourage us to begin by listening, filtering out the noise, and paying attention to what others with whom we are communicating are saying. Even if we are not attempting to be group communicators, this principle will improve our own ability to communicate in whatever aspect of life we are pursuing.
The authors also encourage us to be active listeners. Actively listening requires cooperation, and the listener becomes a collaborator. Collaboration is essential to conflict negotiation. Often we think of the resolution of conflict as coming about as a result of groups coming together with the goal of resolving that conflict, but we probably do not think of them as collaborators because each side has a position. But actively listening, becoming a collaborator in the resolution of the conflict brings to the forefront the common goal of resolution. Perhaps we should refer to the parties involved in conflict resolution differently, as collaborators, instead of as Americans and Russians, or Israelis and Palestinians. Once they come together for conflict resolution, they are collaborators, putting the goal as the primary focus. They would cease to become Americans or Russians, Palestinians or Israelis, but their identity becomes molded into one as collaborators, thus allowing...
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